Soap Thoughts - A Look Back
Ok. So, this is an 'essay' I wrote many years back when I was but a stupid 8th Grader; though I do consider it to be the first proper 'thing' I wrote, I did write things before, but never for fun, you know what I mean right? This was the first 'writing' I took shred of joy from. The initial passage is a parody of an old Bill Wurtz Animation, and the rest is just weird, or even 'Cringe', but it is interestingly weird and 'cringe'. This was still for an English assignment, by the way; we had to write about a school field trip, so this was actually submitted. God, do I feel bad for Miss Ludveena; my 8th grade English teacher, who had to not only read, but check this sh_t. Why am I putting it here? Well, maybe to Archive it, as it is a first of mine.
T: Or maybe because you feel guilty about not putting anything on your stupid site for more than a week, and that you are nowhere near done with you current essay and will not be for some more time, and hence why you need to make yourself feel better by putting this here not letting the page look completely deserted.
Oh why do keep coming back man! Stop being so true all the time!
T: Also, nobody visits this site, (other than you) so why even bother?
Just shut up! And I do visit it myself at least, that has to count for something. Anyways, enjoy this odd little work of an 8th grader. You know, if everything on this page is badwriting, is this worstwriting? I don't know. Enjoy I guess (I have not edited it so expect spelling and grammar errors).
T: Best of Luck, hope you survive!
Soap Thoughts
Hi, today I will talk about soap (or ways to use soap) first of all you need to buy soap (or just rent it) then invite your friends to your house and talk about soap, never mind they are not interested in soap, whatever WASH YOUR HOUSE. Well that’s how my dreams were that day I woke up, it was the day for a field trip to the jungle, why were we going to an infested jungle for a field trip? I don’t know there was probably miscommunication between the school authorities, the only reason the students were going was so we could get the biology subject enrichment marks.
Then after completing the usual morning routine, I sat in to the bus to the school, then from there we ‘listened’ to the instruction on how to behave properly in the field trip, and then a lamb came into our classroom and its fleece was white as snow. Then we got down to board our buses but then we saw a can roll into a gutter, it was a red can looking like a gem when the sun rays hit it, this moment inspired us to never give up and follow the rules of the field trip, while we were in the bus, we saw things like tail-less monkeys climb trees and eat fruits and bright yellow and green wheat fields, then it struck me, I had forgot to bring SOAP. I had thought of feeding the wild pesky birds in the jungle but now my plan went in ruins. But at least we had got lays (not sponsored) and we could enjoy the trip a little but then another annoying thing happened; the bus driver started playing songs on the radio and they annoyed us:
NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN! NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND DESERT YOU! NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY! NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE! NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU!
Luckily the songs stopped, because we had reached jungle, we all sat in the separate jeeps and went on, there we saw rhinos with ivory white horns and cute and colourful pesky birds eating gold plated soap, we saw a fierce lion chasing a tiny rabbit, that tiny rabbit was having a race with a mint green turtle I made up the turtle part to make the story more realistic. There we also met the park official, Damon Daalioth he was very smart and showed us the way to the shiny freshwater lake where animals rested in the hot afternoon and feasted on the tasty water (now that I am writing this I realize water does not have a taste but that’s ok) then it was time to have lunch in the jungle ‘safe house’ I put that in quotations because it was not safe by any metric and while we were having lunch monkeys and pesky birds were stealing our food, now I was getting annoyed and I think the teachers were too because they said we are going home early. But remember I said the safe house wasn’t safe, yeah snakes got in it was a massive disaster and a long story to tell, just understand that the person who got bit went crazy in fear and we all ran like scared prey from a predator.
After the mess of a trip, we finally got into the bus but then I saw something very interesting, a man was selling high protein canned soap and the teachers bought that for all of us, it tasted so good I might even say it’s the best thing I have ever eaten, so the trip wasn’t a total waste. But we didn’t learn anything in the trip so once we came back to school, we all lost most of our subject enrichment marks in the test, the only question I got right was ‘Describe an inspiring moment in the trip’ for which I wrote the gem like can rolling into the gutter. I know I forgot to talk about rubber bands but I will do that in another essay.
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Worstwriting? By Aksat Upadhyay.
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